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Help and Advice

Online grooming

Not everyone online is who they say they are, and this can be a difficult concept for some children to understand

Online grooming is where someone befriends a child online and builds up their trust with the intention of exploiting them and causing them harm.

Harm caused by grooming can be sexual abuse, both in person and online, and exploitation to obtain sexually explicit images and videos of the child. Grooming techniques could also be used to radicalise someone, or to obtain financial information from the child or their family.

How does it happen and who is at risk?

Groomers are very skilled at what they do and can often befriend a child by appearing to have the same hobbies and interests as them. Using fake accounts and photos, they may also appear to be the same age as the child.

However, not all groomers will choose to mask their age or gender. Some groomers may impersonate an aspirational figure, such as a modelling scout, sports coach, celebrity or influencer, whilst others may use their age and experience to develop a ‘mentor’ type relationship with their victim.

A groomer will use the same sites, games and apps as children in order to gain their trust and build a friendship. However, they may also seek to manipulate, blackmail and control the child, potentially isolating them from their friends and family.

Any child can be at risk of being groomed, regardless of age, gender, race or location. Some children may be more at risk due to other vulnerabilities or special educational needs and disabilities, and may find accessing support from a trusted adult or online reporting tools difficult.

Top Tips

Discuss the difference between online and offline friends

It’s important to emphasise that, however nice a new friend online can seem, or however long they have spoken to them for, they are still a stranger.

Know the signs

Talk to your child about ‘red flags’ in chats which are important to report, block and tell an adult about. These would include someone suggesting to meet up offline, asking for personal information or to send photos or videos, chats moving to private messages, or asking them to keep secrets.

Find out where the report and block buttons are

Social media, apps, games and sites all offer reporting and blocking tools.You can find out more by visiting the UK Safer Internet Centre Safety Guides. You can also report grooming to CEOP.

Make sure your child knows you are there to help

Worrying about how a parent or carer will react can prevent young people from asking for help. Make sure that your child knows that, no matter what has happened, you are there to help them.

Know where to get more support

You can find out more about where to get support by visiting our pages for parents and carers and young people.

Conversation starters

  1. What is the difference between people we only know online and people we know offline as well?
  2. How do we know that we can trust someone?
  3. Not all messages from someone new online are worrying, but how do you know which ones might be?
  4. Do you know where the report and block buttons are on different apps?
  5. Who can you come to for help if something worries or upsets you online? (include home, school and helplines)