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Help and Advice Online Pornography

Children & pre-teens

Talking to children about pornography: reducing exposure to pornography, and making sure they know they can turn to you.

It is important to talk to children about staying safe online as soon as they start using technology. Children can accidentally stumble across pornography either by following links, clicking on adverts or sometimes through typos in their searching. They might also actively look for this content online as they are curious or are unsure what something is or means. Whichever way a child accesses this type of content it can leave them feeling shocked, disgusted or worried, and it may prompt questions about sex and relationships.

Top tips:

  1. Always have age-appropriate conversations – NHS Choices has advice on how to talk to your child about sex
  2. Give children strategies for dealing with anything inappropriate online (for example, close the laptop)
  3. Make sure your children know they can turn to you, even if they have viewed something on purpose
  4. Make use of parental control tools available on devices, platforms and at ISP level. Visit Internet Matters for some handy guides.

Talk to your child

In an age-appropriate way, you can explain that there are some things online that are for adults only and that if they ever see anything that worries them online that they should come and tell you. Make sure they know to always tell you if anyone ever shows them a picture of a naked person, or if anyone wants to take a picture of their private parts. The NSPCC Pants Rule is a great way to start a conversation about private parts of our bodies.

It is a good idea at this age to begin conversations about how the media (for example celebrities, TV and advertising) can impact on how we feel about our bodies. Help your child think critically about the images they see online and offline. See Common Sense Media’s advice for parents.

It can help to give your child strategies for dealing with any online content they are not comfortable with – such as turning off the screen, closing the laptop lid or turning over the tablet or phone and then coming to speak to you.

What to do if your child does come across pornography

If they do tell you they have seen something inappropriate, don’t panic. Reassure them they’ve done the right thing turning to you. It may help to practice what you would say if you found out, or if your child told you, that they had seen something pornographic online. Be prepared that it may prompt questions about sex and relationships and it is important to answer questions in an age appropriate way. It may also prompt you to assess your current level of parental controls and change them if needed.

Help limit the chances of exposure

With young children, we recommend that you make use of parental control tools available. These can be applied at device level or the platform and from your internet service provider. See our guides for setting up parental controls or visit Internet Matters for easy to use how to guides. Be aware that parental controls are not 100% effective but they do help limit the chances of your child being accidently exposed to pornographic content.